2002-06-14 - 9:44 p.m.
My gosh. It's been way too long since I wrote in here. Every single night I had the means too and just didn't have the time to sit and write everything going on in my life. I'll be short and sweet. My workplace is no longer certified. No longer unionized and I'm actually really happy about it. How it came about was full of shit and rats. There are 21 of us who all work together. 13 of them decided to contact the labour board to decertify. "Let's all form alliances". I really do work for the most fucked up company that ever existed but I love it. I've been keeping a journal of the events of that place to make into a movie in the future. So that has been a very stressful situation all together. Do I go with my beliefs and vote to get rid of the union or do I go against one of my best friends who started it and give in to the company and basically kiss their ass. Well I got a raise today so you can guess what I did. It was so hard though. Nobody knows how I voted. I wouldn't of been able to look myself in the mirror if I didn't follow my gut. So thats that. Lots of tension amongst everyone but I have no enemies. Knock on wood. I'm living in la la land and have lolipops all day at work. I day dream and giggle and thats what I'm paid for and I just got a raise for it. Is this how the world works?
It worse news and I'm horribly embarassed and can't believe I'm going to tell anyone this but my boy I was dating who basically gave me the kiss of death after standing me up at the very last minute for a Skate competition, who never ever apologized or even called me after he did the deed of standing me up and giving me the kiss of death has the nerve to e-mail me yesterday. It's been almost a month and a half. I have no idea if I should respond. I like hanging out with him and I know he's not in the best head space these days. I also know that I don't have any feelings for him other than hanging out. Fuck Cooper is more rad in his little baby toe than this dude. The worst is a friend of a friend called a "meeting place" kinda chat line and started yacking to some guy and she recognised his voice and put two and two together asked him who he was and he was completly mortified. He asked her to please not tell anyone. Ok sure buddy. Well I know now. GROSS! What the hell is wrong with people. He is incredibly handsome and thats all he's got going for him. So the chat line situation happens and a week later you want to hang out with me again? What am I supposed to think here. My ego is bruised and I hate boys even more than ever now.
I got a tape from Coop in the mail this week. No song listing or bands listed either. I love the tape but when I asked him why he didn't list any. He told me he did it unpurpose. The tape is filled with songs of cars and sex and love. Mostly sex. Its pretty obvious I'm supposed to read deeper into this and listen to the lyrics but I give up. I no longer have time for head games. But I can't help it. I love his head games. I'm loving listening to the lyrics. I think of him. "You spread you love like a fever, don't you ever come down"...Or just plain "I dig you" from Boss hog. "When I get back the first thing on my mind is what I'm missing"..
Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I give up. I think I need to see a pyschic or something. All I want to know is if he really does think I'm rad. I never really care but with this fling I do and its awful not to be able to be honest with someone. This is so complicated. Lets be friends. Well friends don't have this much tension between them. Friends don't kiss each other when there completly sober.
First song.. "Got a visit from you. Oh great now things have changed. Everythings all new. Got a visit from you I got kisses and there was candy too. Got a visit from and I wanna say thank you babe. Oh thank you, thank you, thank you for the visit from you"...
I'm majorly pmsing here and I'm not in the greatest state of mind to be ranting on and on. I'm going to consult my eightball. This boys too much trouble. I better get out before I'm in too deep.
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