2002-06-18 - 10:18 p.m.
I lost my entry last night. I wrote and wrote and then I changed pages and lost it all. I'm so overtired I feel like I'm going to be sick. I'm about to crawl into my bed which doesn't have any sheets on it. I'm just that tired. I finally got a hold of Lettie last night. I love her more than any other girl in the world. I recently had a long talk with one of my friends who had some how gotten in a relationship with her best friend and then kinda got out of it but I talked to her about how i can relate because my friendship with Lettie is so much more intense than just a best friendship. It's a whole other level. Similar to being in love I guess you could say. Just listening to her voice gives me shivers. I can tell her that too and not come accross as crazy. The best part is I love her unconditionally and she loves me the same way as well. She's just so fucking cool and beautiful and she is by far the one and only person who I trust with every single secret I've ever had. I'm so lucky. As long as I have her I'm fine. It was really interesting to talk to another girl who has such and intense friendship with her best friend too. oh Lettie how I love you and miss you soooo much. Lettie is on the otherside of the country and I know I'm gonna sob and sob when we get to hug each other again.
I went to see Ron Jeremy's Pornstar with some friends tonight. It was really intresting. I feel sorry for him. I've also come to the conclusion that I am a bit crazy. Boy crazy. My friend Tan has set me straight. I will no longer settle for anything but the best. I've had it. Wasting my time with mind games and being treated like trash. Oooh Tan is the best always telling it like it is. I have a habit of living in la la land and not letting reality sink in. I'm being played at the moment and he can go back to being the shallow player that he is. Why can I never learn my lesson. I wear my heart on my sleve and I can't do that anymore. Your loss sucker. For real. I'm going to bed now in my sheetless bed alone and couldn't be happier.
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