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2003-01-13 - 6:13 p.m.

I'm not a girl to get sad very often. It happens once in a blue moon I can usually blame it on Pms or even ovulating. Not today. Work is eating me alive. My best friend who got me my job years ago was fired right before Christmas. She was pushing for it for sure. I've been puched into the position of running the show without her there and I'm waiting, waiting waiting to find out what my raise will be. If I'm officially the manager and time is taking it's toll. I spilled my guts to the owner. Told him I feel really pushed into the position and what to know what's going on. A staff of 10 people need to know what's going on. Of course I'm the one who is taking care of every single task that needs to be taking care of and I'm not getting paid for it. His answer was simply we'll take care of everyting at the end of the month. This is the answers you always get from someone who is high on coke every single fucking day. This is on my shoulders every night when I fall asleep. Why would the give me such a huge Christmas bonus? Am I not worth something to them. Work has never ever taken over my life but these days it is and I wouldn't mind so much if I was paid for it. I just don't understand. To top that off our bitch landlord wants to make a new lease for our house and is raising the rent. It sucks big time and I don't need to worry about any of this today. I miss my boy too much too. Sunday night is all I have to wait. I'm lonley and cold with him not here to keep me warm and I think I'm driving him crazy when he calls me from the road everynight and all I do is tell him all my worries. I need a hug.. really baldy. I'm tearing up. All I need is a good cry. That usually makes me feel better.

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